December 14, 2018
Dear Professor Bodre,
I am writing this letter to introduce you to the pieces showcased in this portfolio. Through the four papers written this semester, I have seen improvement in my writing. For each assignment, I struggled with finding the right topic because I always doubted myself. However, after finishing each paper I was confident in what I wrote because I picked topics that I was able to relate to. In this portfolio, I decided to include my literacy narrative, profile, and analysis paper. I chose these works because they best display how I improved as a writer using my mistakes from the first paper to better the subsequent papers.
The first piece attached in this portfolio is the literacy narrative. I wrote my narrative on how I overcame a language barrier. I decided to put this paper first because I learned how to structure my other papers from it. For this paper, I created an extensive outline which guided me as I wrote it. I didn’t write the paper all at once, I tried something different and did this paper paragraph by paragraph to see if it was more efficient. From the literacy narrative, I realized one of my weaknesses in writing papers is how I formulate my conclusion. In the draft, the conclusion didn’t summarize everything in the paper and I didn’t add my personal opinions. After revising the draft, I thought I better formatted the conclusion, but I realized after it was graded that I still didn’t tie in my personal connection. The things that I wrote were general statements like “Embrace the languages you know because although it serves as a basic form of communication, obstacles are faced when trying to learn a new or familiar language”. This statement cautions the readers rather than it being about me wanting to embrace my languages. This piece was supposed to be a personal narrative and I missed the personal aspect.
Furthermore, the next paper attached is my profile and by far my best work in my opinion. After seeing the mistakes I made in my first paper I did not want to make those again. I decided to write about Malala Yousafzai because all I knew about her was that she was the girl who was shot in the head and lived to tell her story and I wanted to know more. This was the first paper in which we needed to use sources cited in MLA format. In the draft, I made a significant mistake of not putting in-text citation which I changed in my final draft. I drew from multiple sources to write this paper and examined each source to see if it was relevant to my paper. Again, I needed to add a personal element into the paper about why I chose Malala. I also needed to better conclude because I introduced new information rather than summing everything up in the conclusion I had in my draft. Although I made the same mistakes as I did in my first paper in my draft, I was able to effectively revise it for my final copy. In the final copy, I rewrote the conclusion and added that I aspired to be like Malala and stated, “I want to develop my persistent character that resembles that of Malala’s” which brought my personal touch into the paper.
Moreover, the final paper in this portfolio is my analysis paper. I took the mistakes from both the other two papers and tried to fix them in this paper. However, in this paper our, personal input was not to be included. I had just gotten the hang of adding my personal connection into papers, but I was only supposed to analyze the article and the author in this one. I chose a Tesla article for my analysis paper because I had talked about Tesla with someone just a few days prior to writing this paper. To find my Tesla article I looked at reputable news sources and ended with picking a New York Times article. For the other sources to support my chosen article, I looked at the title and skimmed to see if it was useful for my paper. My weakness in this paper was how I put quotes into the paper. I always used the wrong punctuation. For example, in this quote “attributes the problem to a shortage of trucks to haul around the country.” (Boudette), I put the period inside of the quotation rather than outside after the in-text citation, where it should be. This is a common mistake I kept making and changed in the final research paper I wrote. A strength I saw in this paper was how I was able to use the feedback I got to revise and add significant information from new research. I added a paragraph where I analyzed the author solely and explained the authors target audience in the final copy.
From the writing I did in high school the writing in this portfolio is more refined. With these pieces, I was able to pick my own topic which is unlike high school. In high school, I created many outlines and that helped me when writing these papers. Although creating an outline wasn’t necessary, I have the habit of doing them even if they are brief. When writing these papers, I tried different writing processes compared to how I did it in high school. For the first paper, I went paragraph by paragraph but that did not work for me as I kept changing the paragraph and it took longer to complete the assignment. So, for the next paper, I decided to write the whole paper and then go back paragraph by paragraph, proofread and revise. This method of writing worked better for me because I caught my simple mistakes. I can now properly analyze a text which is something I did in high school but only through literary elements like imagery and similes. Also, I learned how to properly cite in MLA format.
The works in this portfolio allowed me to write a well-developed research paper with a coherent central thesis, using peer-reviewed sources from the online library database. For every paper written I had feedback from the professor and classmates that only improved my writing and I proofread, revised and reorganized after their comments. I can better identify an argument after reading a text and use supporting evidence to analyze it. These three works showcase my overall performance in English composition class. I can now effectively write papers by exploring the rhetorical strategies including what the purpose of my writing was, who the audience is and what my stance on the topic is, seen through my thesis. I am able to put my personal connection into papers and leave it out when it is not needed. The way I write conclusions still needs improvement because I know I must summarize everything but to do it effectively and, in a way that flows is challenging for me. That was the common weakness I had in all three of my papers. Overall, this English composition class will help me in my other classes where I have to write research papers.
Alexander 1
Jaimy Alexander
English 1100/A
Introduction to Composition
Prof. I. Bodre
October 1, 2018
Overcoming a Language Barrier
I was born and raised in the suburbs just a few train stops away from the busy streets of New York City. My parents are both from the southern region of India and speak fluent Malayalam, one of the many languages of India. They came to America pursuing more opportunities but first they had to learn proper English. My mom ultimately learned more English than my dad, whose English is poor. He stuck to Malayalam, which is mainly because he opened an Indian business. When I came along, everything seemed normal, my parents would talk to me in Malayalam and I would respond in English. Language enables us to communicate with each other, but it was also a barrier I had to overcome.
From the time I can remember talking all I spoke was English. But when I was home, my parents would speak to me in Malayalam and I magically understood it. I don’t remember being taught this language, I assume I just learned it naturally from my parents speaking. When I was in elementary school I remember being put into ESL which stands for English as a Second Language. I walked into that class and saw people who did not speak any English and I was surprised. How could I be in a class for people who don’t speak any English? I was always confused by this because I only knew how to speak English, it was my first language. I realized later, that my school put me in ESL because I was living in a house with parents who spoke a different language. My school believed I would need to improve my English. I took no interest in trying to learn Malayalam when I was young as I was preoccupied with learning English.
Alexander 2
High school came along, and I was around friends who could speak and understand Malayalam. My friends would ask why I didn’t speak Malayalam with my parents. This encouraged me to want to learn Malayalam because I realized it is cool for me to be able to speak to my friends in our own language. With my friends, I practiced my Malayalam so as to not feel left out. Malayalam is a language that is foreign to people not from India and the perk in learning it was that other kids wouldn’t understand what my friends and I were saying. As I practiced, it was difficult for me to get the hang of it and when my friends would urge me to talk in Malayalam, I always hesitated because I knew I wasn’t as good at speaking it as they were. High school has come to an end, my Malayalam still is not as good as it could’ve been if I had learned it from a young age.
Visiting the homeland, India, was the main aspect of my language barrier, which I thought I overcame in high school. The first time I entered this land, with tall coconut trees, cows and elephants strolling in the streets, was when I was six. Of course, at that time, my English wasn’t that great, but I also still did not know how to speak Malayalam. Either way, I communicated with my parents and they could translate what I said to all my family members who didn’t understand much English. The more recent trip to India in 2015 brought its own challenges.
I had just finished my first year of high school and I thought I would be able to talk in Malayalam to my cousins, – the only language they knew. But when I tried speaking they were lost and had no idea what I was saying most of the time. I concluded that, although I knew a few words here and there, my Malayalam wasn’t enough to formulate proper sentences. My accent wasn’t that great either, so that just made things even harder. When I would visit family in India there would always be one person who would ask my parents if I spoke Malayalam. My dad’s
Alexander 3
response would be “She understands it, but she can’t speak it.”, which always evoked a feeling of disappointment in me.
I can speak, write and understand English but when it comes to Malayalam, I can only understand it. Malayalam is a barrier for me as I cannot speak it fluently, I still haven’t conquered it completely, it’s a work in progress. As I proceed into college I have doubt in my abilities in retaining some Malayalam and speaking it when I can. I didn’t think much of not being able to speak Malayalam when I was young, only when I was face to face with Malayalam did I realize that speaking it was a part of my identity. Just as my parents had to learn English and overcome their language barrier when they came to America, I had the dilemma of trying to learn Malayalam to talk to my friends in high school, and to effectively communicate with family in India. I overcame it slightly by practicing with my friends in high school and then learning more when I went to India. Embrace the languages you know because although it serves as a basic form of communication, obstacles are faced when trying to learn a new or familiar language.
Alexander 1
Jaimy Alexander
English 110/A
Introduction to Composition
Prof. Iris Bodre
October 27, 2018
Malala Yousafzai: Journey to the Nobel Peace Prize
Named after a heroic, legendary freedom fighter in Afghanistan, Malala Yousafzai is a brave girl who used her rough life to bring about change in the world. She is the youngest person ever to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, at 17 years old. However, her journey to receiving the award was not easy. With support from her father, Malala fought for what she was passionate about no matter what her age and where she was from. As I am around the age Malala was when she received the award, I strive to have the same mindset as her and I find it fascinating how she came to be the influential person she is today.
To fight against gender discrimination in Pakistan, Malala’s father, Ziauddin opened a school for both boys and girls. At the age of 4, Malala was admitted into this school where she was able to be unlike other girls in the Swat Valley where she lived. In 2008, the Taliban took control in the Swat Valley and began destroying the schools. This evoked Malala to take a stand and at only 11 years old, with her father’s full support, she gave a speech on Pakistani TV titled “How Dare the Taliban Take Away My Basic Right to Education?” (“Malala Yousafzai- Biographical”)
Soon after that speech, in 2009 Malala began blogging on the BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) Urdu, where she addressed specific incidents that occurred and her desire of wanting to go to school but not being allowed to because of the Taliban. She blogged under a pseudonym, Gul Makai, so the Taliban wouldn’t find and kill her for her advocacy for education
Alexander 2
for all children. Her first blog entry on January 3rd, 2009 was titled, “I am Afraid”, a simple title that said a lot about her emotional state, because she wanted to go to school freely without living in constant fear. Malala stated in that blog post “I was afraid going to school because the Taliban had issued an edict banning all girls from attending schools.” (M. Yousafzai).
A few years later, after being awarded Pakistan’s National Youth Peace Prize (renamed National Malala Peace Prize) in 2011, Malala was the center of attention for the Taliban which, unfortunately, came with dire consequences. On October 9th, 2012 the Taliban came on the school bus with Malala and her friends and the Taliban asked which one Malala was. Malala’s friend Shazia Ramzan told TIME’s Aryn Baker “I think we must have looked at her.” (Alter) This caused the Taliban to shoot Malala three times and one bullet went straight into her head and came clear out the other side.
Malala was transferred to the United Kingdom to treat her critical wounds. Miraculously, she had no severe brain damage. In March 2013, after a year of therapy, Malala was well enough to finally attend school in Birmingham. She had an enormous amount of support globally after her United Nations speech on her 16th birthday July 12th, 2013 which has now become Malala day. In her speech, Malala stated, “…let us wage a global struggle against illiteracy, poverty and terrorism and let us pick up our books and pens. They are our most powerful weapons.” (M. Yousafzai) This statement epitomizes how Malala views education as something that will not only further individual goals but worldwide efforts as well.
In October 2014, Malala shared the Nobel Peace Prize “for the struggle against suppression of children and young people and for the right of all children to education” (Nobel Peace Prize for 2014). In Malala’s acceptance speech she said, “This award is not just for me. It is for those forgotten children who want education. It is for those frightened children who want
Alexander 3
peace. It is for those voiceless children who want change.” Malala had two options, “One was to remain silent and wait to be killed. And the second was to speak up and then be killed.” (M. Yousafzai). She chose the second and survived, showing her resilient nature. Malala donated the money she received from the prize into the Malala Fund which strives to build schools and gives girls top-notch education everywhere.
In March 2014, Malala’s father, Ziauddin, presented a TED talk entitled “My Daughter Malala”, in it, he stated, “Why is my daughter so strong?… because I didn’t clip her wings.” (Z. Yousafzai). Malala’s father supported her through everything she wanted to do. He saw honor in her eyes from the day she was born and knew she was different. After all, that is why he named her after a strong powerful woman, Malalai of Maiwand. He, in fact, wanted his daughter to go to school. When she got shot and was in a coma, he didn’t lose faith, he knew she was strong and would come out of it even stronger.
Malala was everywhere in the news in 2012 and all I knew her by was, the girl who got shot in the head and survived to tell her story. At the time, I didn’t know why she had been shot or who she was. I have now learned that her story started way before the 2012 incident. Malala began her fight for education for children in 2008 through her speech on Pakistani TV. She then went on to write her own blogs, recounting her day to day life in 2009. Winning the National Malala Peace Prize in 2011 just brought unnecessary attention to her which caused her to get shot a year later. Malala went on from this experience with positivity and became even more persistent in her fight for education, earning the Nobel Peace Prize in 2014. Just as her father sees her as an empowering woman many others like me see her the same way and aspire to be like her. I want to develop my persistent character that resembles that of Malala’s. The fact that Malala never gave up is a simple reminder that if things seem tough, its what you make of your
Alexander 4
situation that determines how it affects you. In the words of Malala herself, “We realize the importance of our voices only when we are silenced.” (M. Yousafzai)
Alexander 5
Works Cited
Alter, Charlotte. “Malala Yousafzai Wins Nobel Peace Prize 2 Years After Shooting.” Time, Time, 9 Oct. 2014, time.com/3482434/malala-yousafzai-wins-nobel-peace-prize. Accessed 13 Oct 2018.
“Malala Yousafzai- Biographical.” NobelPrize.org, Nobel Media AB 2018, http://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/peace/2014/yousafzai/auto-biography/. Accessed 13 Oct 2018.
“The Nobel Peace Prize for 2014.” NobelPrize.org, Nobel Media AB 2018, 10 Oct. 2014, http://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/peace/2014/press-release/. Accessed 12 Oct 2018.
Yousafzai, Malala. “Diary of a Pakistani Schoolgirl.” BBC News, BBC, 19 Jan. 2009, http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7834402.stm. Accessed 13 Oct. 2018.
– – -. “Malala’s Speech.” un.org, www.un.org/News/dh/infocus/malala_speach.pdf. Accessed 13 Oct 2018
– – -. “Malala Yousafzai- Nobel Lecture.” NobelPrize.org, Nobel Media AB 2018, 10 Dec. 2014, www.nobelprize.org/prizes/peace/2014/yousafzai/26074-malala-yousafzai-nobel-lecture-2014/. Accessed 13 Oct. 2018
Yousafzai, Ziauddin, director. My Daughter, Malala. TED: Ideas Worth Spreading, Mar. 2014, http://www.ted.com/talks/ziauddin_yousafzai_my_daughter_malala?language=en. Accessed 13 Oct 2018.
Alexander 1
Jaimy Alexander
English 110/A
Introduction to Composition
Prof. Iris Bodre
December 5, 2018
Tesla’s Potential Downfall
Elon Musk became known as the co-founder of the Tesla Company. The Tesla Company manufactures technologically advanced cars in three different models including the S, X, and 3. The model S was released in 2012 but it was just recently that these cars became so popular. In 2015, after the release of the second model, X, more people became interested in these self-driving cars. This sparked a massive influx of the amount of people ordering these cars. However, with all these orders many cars have been discovered to be sitting in parking lots while people who have put deposits down still have not received their cars. This discovery was examined closer in the article published in the New York Times entitled, “Unraveling a Tesla Mystery: Lots (and Lots) of Parked Cars” by Neal E. Boudette, which is directed toward potential Tesla buyers or the people who have purchased a Tesla but are still awaiting it. The ideas emphasized in this article inform the public about the disorganized aspects of the Tesla car company.
In https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/01/business/tesla-cars-questions.html, author Neal Boudette brings light to the fact that there are many Tesla cars at different locations. “In Lathrop, 70 miles east of San Francisco, Tesla has as many as 400 cars at an industrial site.” (Boudette) One awaiting customer posted a picture on Twitter showing her car in one of the parking lots. (Fig.1) With this information, it was assumed that because the high number of cars were just being stored in lots and not being distributed there was a problem with the ability of Tesla to
Alexander 2
efficiently deliver the cars to the people who purchased them. Elon Musk has tried to give explanations to those patiently awaiting their car, yet his answers are never definitive and always lacking concrete information about when the owner will get their car. Elon “attributes the problem to a shortage of trucks to haul cars around the country.” (Boudette) For a big company to be inefficient in delivering their cars suggests the lack of effort being put into the customer service aspect of the business. However, Elon did state that Tesla is going to have their own trailers deliver the cars so that Tesla wouldn’t have to be dependent on anyone to get the cars to their owners. (Boudette)
Fig. 1: The tweet of an awaiting Tesla customer with Elon Musk’s reply, Megan Gale, www.nytimes.com/2018/10/01/business/tesla-cars-questions.html
The article touches upon the idea that the demand for Teslas is slowly decreasing which is another reason why there are parking lots full of unused Tesla’s. “Brian Johnson, an analyst at Barclays Capital who follows Tesla, said he suspected that the company had a mismatch between
Alexander 3
inventory and demand…” (Boudette). The cars go for around $35,000 to $60,000 depending on all the add-on features. With the hefty price tag that comes with these cars, many people hesitate to purchase them even with the features it offers. Tesla mass produced a lot of cars that have no use unless more people purchase them. Not all people have this type of money to spend yet Elon insists that for the latest Model 3 (Fig. 2) there were 5,000 new orders (Eisenstein). Although there is no certainty of the validity of this statement, it is already established that the amount of time for these cars to get to the buyer will be months. This is not acceptable when it comes to buying something worth so much money.
Fig.2: Teslas’ Model 3 Car, https://www.tesla.com/model3
Boudette’s article addresses the issue that the cars that many people have seen in mass clusters in parking lots have problems with the parts and require repair. Some cars in the lots have specific writings or stickers that correspond to items that need to be fixed. Boudette added this section into the article because it focuses on the most logical explanation as to why the cars aren’t being shipped to the owners. Smart cars are very highly advanced but also dangerous if not assembled properly. For example, in March 2018 Tesla recalled 123,000 of the Model S sedans because “…five bolts responsible for holding the power steering motor in place could
Alexander 4
corrode, break, or come loose, which could result in loss of power steering.” (Matousek) It is of importance that the Tesla company do everything in their power to sell safety regulated vehicles to their customers although, this should be done in a timelier manner so that Tesla keeps the customers that they currently have.
Neal Boudette, the author of this article, is an automotive reporter for the New York Times and has written many pieces on Tesla. Some other Tesla articles he wrote include, “What Teslas’ ‘Delivery Logistics Hell’ Is Like for Model 3 Buyers” and “Tesla Reports a Rare Quarterly Profit, Its Biggest Ever”. When it comes to cars, Boudette keeps his audience well informed of the latest news, as he is up to date on everything happening in the auto industry. The people who read his articles can vary from people who want to learn more about Tesla to people who want answers from Tesla. Boudette organizes his article with different headings addressing each issue which makes it easy to understand.
Elon Musk is actively trying to fix the issues that arise in his company, yet he makes bold statements that his company may not be able to live up to. The use of pictures of tweets from Twitter in the article, like the one of a patiently waiting customer who showed a picture of a Tesla filled parking lot and Elon’s reply gave more of a personal connection to the situation. The article offered different answers to the question posed in the title. It gave unbiased explanations as to why Tesla had these parking lots full of cars including: Tesla has a delivery dilemma, the demand for the cars are decreasing and the cars seen in the lots were being repaired to then be shipped out. The article achieved its intended purpose of informing the general public with a glimpse of how things are running for the Tesla company.
Alexander 5
Works Cited
Boudette, Neal E. “Unraveling a Tesla Mystery: Lots (and Lots) of Parked Cars.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 2 Oct. 2018, www.nytimes.com/2018/10/01/business/tesla-cars-questions.html. Accessed 23 Nov. 2018
Eisenstein, Paul A. “Here’s Why Tesla’s Model 3 May Face Declining Demand, despite Elon Musk’s Claims.” CNBC, CNBC, 21 July 2018, www.cnbc.com/2018/07/21/new-demand-may-be-slipping-for-tesla-model-3-early-orders.html. Accessed 23 Nov. 2018
Matousek, Mark. “Tesla Is Experiencing a Painful Year – Here’s Everything That Has Gone Wrong so Far.” Business Insider, Business Insider, 30 Oct. 2018, www.businessinsider.com/tesla-challenges-in-2018-2018-4. Accessed 23 Nov. 2018
