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Thank you for writing this Hardik. In my Art and Thought of the 1980s class at the Graduate Center, we just wrapped a discussion of Bonfire of the Vanities. I’ve learned even more through your thoughtful analysis […]

Jay sounds like a complicated and rich character. Start thinking about how you’ll be able to SHOW his dysfunctional marriage without telling us it is dysfunctional. Remember, it is not your job to JUDGE the […]

I love that the comment about wanting money instead of gift becomes a metaphor for an internal conflict within their relationship. Try to stay with that specific conflict a bit more before you shift to having them […]

I’m happy to see you’re making your character’s fear of public speaking more concrete.

Thanks for getting this in. Hope it will be useful to you as you work on your short story.

I think you’re confusing story/plot/scene.. The idea of this assignment was to have you outline what scenes you’ll have in your story and when you’ll incorporate flashbacks. So for instance, when you write “Wife […]

Thanks Martha. Just remember, you want to maintain ONE point of view otherwise the story is hard to understand. So in the beginning you write “She was standing…” then you slip into “I went to class” the first […]

Why is Lien buying anti-freeze!! I am so curious to know. I also am fascinated by Sweetness being so impatient here. It makes me want to reread the story to see if part of the reason she appears to be […]

Good plan! Looking forward to seeing how it looks on the page!
DW

What would happen if you started your scene with “He is my professor” and have them talk to each other the way they would without the readers present. For instance, if I have a story about two friends and one is […]

Good start- think about how you’ll show Katherine is “strong” but “sweet.” Also, how will you show Michael wants to quit his job without telling us this…how can you show dissatisfaction?

Curious about the difference between the two characters’ voices. One is honeyed and untrustworthy, the other is “modulated” and more trustworthy. Cool to think about specific words and tones you can use in […]

OMG ! I am so with the metaphor of choosing between White Chocolate and Reeses. Very clever. I also appreciate her indecision that is shown through her inability to pick food items. Good work!

Tense scene you’ve got here. I think you run into a little on the nose dialogue when Jenna says exactly why she tells his girlfriend that he’s not worth her time, but I can see some subtext in the lines before that.

You did a great job Gio. I think your scene could start with this line of dialogue though: “And what of this dark-haired man that the Sighters speak of?”

I think the dialogue picks up steam when they talk ARO […]